The family is a great beautiful thing. without it there can’t be any society. parents,children,uncles,aunts and lots more makes it awesome but there are certain mistakes which are made that gradually and sometimes eats up the foundation of a family. every home has its flaws but noticing and handling it is a task that needs to be done in order to avoid its negative effects on the home. we’ll in this article analyze some common Nigerian family mistakes.
1. Imposing Destiny, purpose or ambitions On Children:
This is usually a common thing in most homes in Nigeria because most parents think and feel it’s a good idea to tell a child what to become but the truth is, children come with different potentials which fits in only into their purposed destiny from birth.
So many young men and women live in regrets today because they were misled by parents or guardians to study a particular thing in school which did not match with or give room for their potentials. it is usually easy to impose the parental desire on a child but at the later end becomes catastrophic to the child when grown because most times, its usually almost too late for them to make a turn back to what they could do better.
2. Denying Children Self-will When They’re of Matured Age:
Controlling and disciplining a child is a very crucial and helpful thing to the child but of what use will it be when you don’t give the child a chance to make some decisions especially when they’re getting more matured? for example when they’re through with secondary school, some decisions are for them to make not the parents. at this stage, they’re almost if not 18 years old.
It is not that you should let them loose but give them some little freedom to decide certain things for themselves. with this you’ll come to know how well you’ve trained them. denying them self-will as a parent will only make them take wrong decisions at a later end because you never gave them a chance to learn the ways of making decisions well.
3. Ranking of Affection Towards Children:
Sometimes i have heard some parents publicly say “this is my favourite son”. such a statement is very dangerous because it brings with it lots chaos that most parents can never control. there will be different interpretations to it by the children. ranking of affection towards the children should never be made known or even prioritized cause its of no importance.
Learn to love them all equally to the best you can because they’re all a product of you. never rank your affections towards them . such feelings may come but it’s necessary to control it for it will do no good but harm to the family.
4. Parents Picking a Quarrel in Front of their Children:
Most Nigerian parents are fond of exchanging words in a harsh and insulting manner while their children watch them. some even pick a fight and the children will have no choice than to become the peacemakers as they try to separate the fight. that’s a fatal error because it is actually a damage to all the good upbringing you’ve given to the children. should they by any means pick up such attitude from the parents, all other good things they’ve learned from home will become adulterated.
5. Parents Gossiping About Each Other to their Children:
Some parents mostly women because they’re more closer to the children than the men gossip about everything between them and their husbands to the children. some men do that too these days. All these will give rise to nothing but resentments,hate and fights because the children will begin to hate one parent and love the other and such is not good for a family at all.
Some parental issues shouldn’t be discussed with children. Even if it is necessary, its shouldn’t be in a gossiping manner so that the children will understand what’s going on. It will even help them to mature in reasoning.
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The above family mistakes are not meant to judge any parent or home but are for corrections. it is very necessary to take note of these things whether you’re a parent or still single. we all belong to a family tree. we can aid our family growth by pick-pointing errors within it like the above ones and more for a better co-existence starting from our homes. peaceful co-existence is a good thing or is it not?
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