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14 Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse in a relationship

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Relationships aren’t always plain sailing and whilst we all have our ups and downs, it’s important to know when something has gone past the usual conflict and entered into toxic territory. Here are 14 signs of emotional abuse in a seemingly healthy relationship.
Dynamics in a relationship can change and quickly and a relationship can be a affected by a variety of external factors. Partners can change in the blink of an eye and the quality of the partnership can become severely impaired.

Read these 14 points clearly if you suspect that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship or want to make yourself aware of the warning signs.
1. You are mocked
Your other half loves to tell ‘funny’ stories at your expense – whether it’s how hopeless you are at managing money/driving/being organised, or how you always overdo it/make a fool of yourself at social events.
If you object, you are accused of having no sense of humor or being oversensitive.
You start to wonder if the digs and jibes really are just teasing and you’re missing the joke.
The easy way to tell – when your partner makes one of these ‘jokes’ in public, does anyone laugh or is there an uncomfortable silence? If a joke makes others uncomfortable, your partner is telling it to undermine you.
2. You feel guilty all the time
You feel guilty or slightly ashamed all the time without knowing what about. You become hyper-vigilant by monitoring your behavior to avoid giving your partner a reason to criticize you; a feeling of ‘walking on eggshells’.
But the goalposts seem to move all the time so you never know how you will irritate or disappoint him next.
The irony is, an abuser can even make you feel guilty for their own bad behavior – they got drunk because you ‘upset them’ or ‘stressed them out’, or you’re just ‘being jealous’ over their flirting.
3. Suddenly you need ‘protecting’
If you go out without your partner you’re either given a curfew or they insist on picking you up. They ask you to Snapchat a picture of who you are with when you get there. They tell you they are just taking care of you, but really, they are checking up on you, and keeping you on a leash that will just get shorter and shorter.
4. They makes grand gestures
When an abusive partner knows they have overstepped the line and you are questioning the relationship, get ready for a grand gesture – an expensive meal out, a surprise weekend away, an unexpected gift or bunch of flowers.
The original problem remains unresolved, or not even acknowledged – a grand gesture buys your silence, and your part of the deal is not to insist on talking things through.
5. You’re being gas-lighted
Gradually, you get the feeling that things just don’t quite add up – your partner contradicts something they have told you previously, or you suspect you’re not getting the whole picture (about their last relationship or why they left their last job).
They may also deny doing or saying something that you clearly remember, but they deny it with such conviction and confidence that you start to doubt yourself. This insidious form of manipulation is called ‘gas-lighting’, and it’s designed to make you doubt your mental health.
6. They burst your bubble 
You come home full of excitement because a great business opportunity has come your way or you’ve been asked to get involved with a project you feel passionate about.
But your partner immediately throws cold water on your plans, telling you all the ways that things would go wrong, or that it’s a bad idea – or he starts a completely unrelated argument just to burst your bubble.
In future, you gradually find yourself not sharing your ideas and successes with them, because you know you won’t get a positive reaction.
7. Backhanded compliments are their stock in trade
When you first met, you felt flattered by the attention your partner paid to how you look.
But as time goes by, the compliments have become few and far between, replaced by comments about how ‘wrong’ your look is – that top doesn’t suit you, you’re putting on weight, what’s going on with your hair? If you object, you’re once again being ‘oversensitive’.
8. They have no empathy
If you talk about a problem at work, you’re ‘over-reacting’.
You are allowed a short time to vent about major upsets, then you are expected to ‘get over it’ (so you can focus your energy and attention once again on your partner and their needs). Some emotional abusers disappear when you need them most, or become extra critical.
9. You’re always in the wrong
Whether it was something you said six months ago, not telling your partner something that they believe they have a right to know, or letting them down in some way (putting your needs before theirs), an abusive partner will keep a mental tally and regularly remind you of your crimes.
They may even add things that happened before you met, encouraging you to be ‘honest’ about your past sexual history, for instance, only to later use that information as evidence of your badness.
10. The purse-strings tighten
Controlling you financially is a classic tactic of an abusive partner; something known as financial abuse.
They may have started by giving you advice that really helps, helping you sort out debts, or being more financially responsible. Soon, your partner steps up the pressure to ‘be careful’ with money.
But somehow, it seems like it’s always you who has to cut back, earn more and stop spending.
Your partner doesn’t consult you before they spend money. But if there’s something you want, particularly if it involves a threat to your partner’s control over you, like training for your career, or a weekend away with friends, there will be a reason why you can’t afford it.
11. Others become involved
When you met, your partner had plausible explanations for their feuds and falling-out with friends and family members. But now it’s your friends and family that are ‘insulting’, ‘attacking’, or ‘trying to sideline’ your partner and you are under pressure to take sides. Whatever the reason, your life together seems to lurch from drama to drama.
12. People think you’ve changed
People who care about you say you seem quiet these days, or just not yourself. They wonder why you rarely go out or why you’ve changed the way you dress. And you find it hard to give them an explanation.
13. You look forward to evenings on your own
You notice your mood is lighter one day and you remember that it’s the night your partner is going out and you get an evening to yourself. Or, they tell you they have to go away for work in a couple of weeks and you find yourself looking forward to it. When your partner is not around, you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
14. He/she is stonewalling you
Your partner can withdraw emotionally from you for days, not making eye contact, not talking, and refusing to explain why (while at the same time, managing to let you know that whatever it is, it is your fault). They may even disappear for days. When they come back, they will tell you they just needed ‘some space’. But you may never find out what was really going on.

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Ike Ani is a Freelance writer whose quest constantly is to relate happenings around the world to human daily living. He's also a song writer and singer, Acoustic Guitarist, and Teacher.

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L. A Prisoners Infect Themselves With Coronavirus To Get Early Release (VIDEO)

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A group of silly L.A area prison inmates were very eager to contract the dreaded coronavirus .

They attempted this because they believed that would trigger their ticket out of prison.

According to the L.A. County Sheriff Alex Villanueva who made the startling revelation Monday, said about twenty-four (24) inmates at the Pitchess Detention Center in Castaic attempted (and somewhat succeeded, apparently) to infect themselves way back in mid-April 2020.

The Sheriff revealed that their department saw an increase in spike in confirmed cases out of nowhere.

He said that when they investigated, they found a high number of inmates living in one block of the prison appeared to be deliberately trying to infect each other with COVID-19 any way they could from behind bars.

When Alex Villanueva played the surveillance footages he and his team combed through carefully , and it showed several inmates hanging out in a common area and passing around what Alex described as a hot cup of water, as well as one face mask they’d each put on all in hopes of getting sympathy from a judge to spring them from the facility and let them go home.

But it turns out, their little ploy worked but, only halfway.

Villanueva reported that 21 of the inmates (out of 50 in the block) caught the ‘Coronavirus.

“What they won’t catch is a break” said the Sheriff.

Watch the Video HERE

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COVID-19 LOCKDOWN: 12 Year Old Albino Girl Suffers Eye Problems After Hawking Veggies In Abuja (PHOTOS)

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A very sad Facebook post greeted Nigerians from Abuja showing a 12 year old Albino Girl Grace, who started developing sight problems after Hawking Veggies under the scorching sun in Abuja.

The Facebook post stated that the little girl was asked to hawk the veggies by her aunt whom she lives with.

Below are the Screenshots of the Facebook post:

This sad news has sparked an outrage by well meaning individuals who spoke against such cruelty and insensitivity of the said girl’s aunt.

what do you think of this? Drop your comments below.

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“Buhari is Made In London” – Reno Omokri Blasts Presidency On Nigerian Made Products

The Buhari administration has been known for enforcing the Nigerian people to patronize Nigerian made goods though without much strategy to make life easier while this transition to economic growth is enforced.

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Reno Omokri Nuggets

The Buhari administration has been known for enforcing the Nigerian people to patronize Nigerian made goods though without much strategy to make life easier while this transition to economic growth is enforced. Many Nigerians have tagged it a harsh move that is insensitive and inhumane but moreso, Reno Omokri has singled out signals of hypocrisy in the President of Nigeria by outlining certain traits of family moves of the President that shows that he(Buhari) as the No.1 citizen has no regards for anything made in Nigeria but yet wants other Nigerians to embrace Nigerian made goods.

Reno Omokri ‘s tweet reads:

His kids schooled in England. His wife just returned from a 3 month UK stay. His daughter gave birth to his grandchild in Spain (made in Spain), yet
@MBuhari
, who is London, wants us to patronise made in Nigeria!

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