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Movie Review: ‘The Dark Tower” is not the King that was promised

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Idris Elba's appearance in The Dark Tower is not enough to save the movie from being average

Hours after leaving the cinema,
the most distinct sense of The Dark Tower was the feeling that the
movie is an extended trailer, or a detailed Wikipedia summary for a much
better movie that will never be made. The
movie, with its premise of a grand multiverse that’s littered with a
wealth of possibilities, squanders a lot of its promise in only 95
minutes.

The sci-fi western movie is an adaptation of American author Stephen King‘s eight-volume book series of the same name.
Even
without reading the Dark Tower books, familiarity with King’s work  is
enough to make the movie’s audience crave for an intense magical realism
fest that’s filled with wonder.
After
the movie ends, the audience is left with an unrealised desire to see a
much better movie that does the author’s incredible stories better
justice.
The movie introduces the cinematic world of The Dark Tower through the eyes of Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor), a troubled teenager who has disturbing visions of another realm that the adults in his life think he’s making up.
Except he’s not.

Tom Taylor doesn't disappoint as the troubled Jake Chambers in The Dark Tower

Tom Taylor doesn’t disappoint as the troubled Jake Chambers in The Dark Tower
(Collider)

After
almost getting kidnapped by creatures from his visions, Jake hurries
along into the surreal Mid-World he’s always dreamed about and interacts
with everyone and everything that had given him sleepless nights.
He runs into the Gunslinger (Idris Elba),
the last of a dying breed of protectors of the titular tower that is a
gigantic spire holding the universe’s various worlds together and
keeping a wide array of monsters out of them.
The two quickly form an alliance to travel across the deserted Mid-World and defeat evil sorcerer, Walter (Matthew McConaughey) nicknamed the Man in Black.
The
Man in Black resolutely pursues the destruction of the mysterious tower
and sacrifices children with special psychic abilities like Jakes’ to
destroy it.
The movie’s problem is a fundamental one as director Nikolaj Arcel makes
the decision to switch from the book’s perception of the Mid-World from
the Gunslinger’s view to narrating the story from Jake’s point of view.

"The Dark Tower."

The world of The Dark Tower is explored through Jake’s narrow eyes (Sony)

While
this choice won’t matter much to the audience that hasn’t picked up the
books, the problem is quite obvious in how narrow the narrative is.
There
is no broad understanding of the tower’s universe, because the audience
has to be indelicately fed its lore just the same way Jake is
discovering it.
This makes the movie’s
dialogue suffer from blandness as encounters between characters are
mostly coloured with clunky expositions about the universe.
The
movie’s mythology is jammed through so many poorly-executed expositions
it makes the depiction and exploration of the mysterious Mid-World come
off as something deeply unsatisfying that could have easily offered
more.
The narrative scope of the movie is
largely diminished because the audience is experiencing it from the
eyes of a terrified 14-year-old.
The most
notable casualty of this is the relationship between the Gunslinger and
the Man in Black whose past conflict is depicted in a one-off
flashback.
This is important because that
one scene is a major catalyst for the Gunslinger’s motivations for most
of the movie, and it hints at what could have been a more interesting
angle to cover.
This unforgivable
omission is also why the audience never gets a good sense of the Man in
Black’s incredible Purple Man-esque suggestive powers, or why the
Gunslinger is the only one that’s unaffected by his powers.

Matthew McConaughey in "The Dark Tower."

Matthew McConaughey is a monster as the Man in Black in The Dark Tower (Sony)

Even
Jake’s psychic ‘shine’ powers are so vaguely coloured that he uses them
to achieve whatever the plot requires from one scene to another.
These are all key elements to the story that could have been better explored to make a more balanced and satisfying movie.
It
never really offers enough depth or patience to allow the audience to
properly care for what the characters are going through.
It
burns through its transitions too quickly to build meaningful narrative
development and leave the audience unsatisfied with an underwhelming
climax.
However, the cast is impressively immune to the mediocre charm of this movie.
Elba,
as the vengeance-seeking/babysitter Gunslinger, is its brightest spot
as he plods across realms, trying to end his arch-nemesis for very
personal reasons.

The conflict between the Gunslinger and the Man in Black could have been done way better than what The Dark Tower offered

The conflict between the Gunslinger and the Man in Black could have been done way better than what The Dark Tower offered
(Wired)

Even though he couldn’t completely redeem the movie, he lavishes it with some undeserved swagger and dignity.
He
is mostly impressive in the action-packed gun battles, as much as he’s
in form when he’s cracking unintentional jokes that hit the point.
Even
though he doesn’t exactly match Elba’s degree, McConaughey isn’t a
let-down with the cartoonish Man in Black whose villainy is sometimes
depicted with effortless creepiness.
He
lisps his way into talking anyone into doing anything with the power of
his suggestive tongue. He commands people to kill themselves, commands
people to stop breathing, and even turns a daughter against her mother
on a whim.
He’s an awful character that
appears to do things just because he wants to be evil and McConaughey
sells him with the sort of imposing nonchalance that’s required to hate
him on behalf of the protagonists.

The Man in Black never has to try too hard to be hated

The Man in Black never has to try too hard to be hated
(Collider)

As Jake, Taylor offers the sort of emotional maturity that’s needed to play a troubled teenager trapped in a fantastic world.
Other than the audience, if anyone has been wronged here, it’s the impressive cast that has to battle with a mediocre script.
Unlike the audience though, they can at least find succour in their fat paychecks.
The
Dark Tower fails to answer some very interesting questions that could
have made for a better movie, but it papers over those cracks by
entertaining the audience with some well-executed action scenes, for the
most part.
Years from now, not a lot of
people will remember The Dark Tower for being a rousing success, but not
a lot of people will remember it as a complete disaster too.
It’s just a decent, timid sci-fi movie that could have been done way better for a little longer than 95 minutes.

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Ike Ani is a Freelance writer whose quest constantly is to relate happenings around the world to human daily living. He's also a song writer and singer, Acoustic Guitarist, and Teacher.

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L. A Prisoners Infect Themselves With Coronavirus To Get Early Release (VIDEO)

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A group of silly L.A area prison inmates were very eager to contract the dreaded coronavirus .

They attempted this because they believed that would trigger their ticket out of prison.

According to the L.A. County Sheriff Alex Villanueva who made the startling revelation Monday, said about twenty-four (24) inmates at the Pitchess Detention Center in Castaic attempted (and somewhat succeeded, apparently) to infect themselves way back in mid-April 2020.

The Sheriff revealed that their department saw an increase in spike in confirmed cases out of nowhere.

He said that when they investigated, they found a high number of inmates living in one block of the prison appeared to be deliberately trying to infect each other with COVID-19 any way they could from behind bars.

When Alex Villanueva played the surveillance footages he and his team combed through carefully , and it showed several inmates hanging out in a common area and passing around what Alex described as a hot cup of water, as well as one face mask they’d each put on all in hopes of getting sympathy from a judge to spring them from the facility and let them go home.

But it turns out, their little ploy worked but, only halfway.

Villanueva reported that 21 of the inmates (out of 50 in the block) caught the ‘Coronavirus.

“What they won’t catch is a break” said the Sheriff.

Watch the Video HERE

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COVID-19 LOCKDOWN: 12 Year Old Albino Girl Suffers Eye Problems After Hawking Veggies In Abuja (PHOTOS)

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A very sad Facebook post greeted Nigerians from Abuja showing a 12 year old Albino Girl Grace, who started developing sight problems after Hawking Veggies under the scorching sun in Abuja.

The Facebook post stated that the little girl was asked to hawk the veggies by her aunt whom she lives with.

Below are the Screenshots of the Facebook post:

This sad news has sparked an outrage by well meaning individuals who spoke against such cruelty and insensitivity of the said girl’s aunt.

what do you think of this? Drop your comments below.

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“Buhari is Made In London” – Reno Omokri Blasts Presidency On Nigerian Made Products

The Buhari administration has been known for enforcing the Nigerian people to patronize Nigerian made goods though without much strategy to make life easier while this transition to economic growth is enforced.

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Reno Omokri Nuggets

The Buhari administration has been known for enforcing the Nigerian people to patronize Nigerian made goods though without much strategy to make life easier while this transition to economic growth is enforced. Many Nigerians have tagged it a harsh move that is insensitive and inhumane but moreso, Reno Omokri has singled out signals of hypocrisy in the President of Nigeria by outlining certain traits of family moves of the President that shows that he(Buhari) as the No.1 citizen has no regards for anything made in Nigeria but yet wants other Nigerians to embrace Nigerian made goods.

Reno Omokri ‘s tweet reads:

His kids schooled in England. His wife just returned from a 3 month UK stay. His daughter gave birth to his grandchild in Spain (made in Spain), yet
@MBuhari
, who is London, wants us to patronise made in Nigeria!

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